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Episode 120: How to Stop Going to Battle with your Teen

Your sweet little one has officially turned into a teen—and suddenly the relationship feels less like nurturing and more like constant clash after clash. In this episode of Brown and Happy, I dive into the real, exhausting, and often heart-wrenching dynamic of parenting a teenager—especially through the lens of South Asian familial and cultural expectations.

We’ll explore why the “battles” happen, where they come from, and how you can shift from conflict to connection—without sacrificing your values or your own peace of mind. Whether you’re already in the thick of teen upheaval or bracing yourself for what’s ahead, this is for you.

🧭 What We Cover

  • The shift from childhood parenting to teenage parenting: what changes and why it feels so dramatic.

  • Cultural and generational expectations that add extra pressure: why “just obey,” “respect,” and “don’t challenge” can turn into rebellion in a teen body.

  • Common battle grounds: technology & screen time, identity & belonging, freedom vs. rules, and how they play out uniquely for South Asian youth.

  • How to recognise when you’re stuck in the “battle mindset” (you vs. them) and transition into a “co-growth mindset” (us = parent + teen).

  • Practical coaching tools you can begin using today to decrease defiance, increase connection, and maintain your role as both parent and model of emotional intelligence.

  • How self-care, boundaries and your own modelling of behaviour become the secret sauce for healthy teen relationships.

👤 Who This Episode Is For

  • South Asian parents who feel disconnected from their teen and are tired of the power‐struggles.

  • Any parent who worries that the teen years meant “dropping the ball” and wants to reclaim the narrative.

  • Coaches, therapists, educators working with families navigating adolescence and cultural intergenerational dynamics.

  • Teens who want their parents to “get it” and open up a conversation grounded in respect and authenticity.

🌟 Key Take-Aways

  1. You are not the only one fighting—and the conflict often isn’t about “you” or “them”, but about transition.

  2. The teen brain is wired for independence; what looks like defiance is often their way of finding identity—and you can guide it instead of reacting to it.

  3. Boundaries + connection = the winning combo. You’re not choosing one over the other.

  4. Your emotional health matters: when you bring calm, presence and curiosity instead of fear and shame, you lead the relationship.

  5. Small shifts in language and posture can completely change the tone: “Tell me what you’re thinking” beats “Because I said so.”

🔗 Connect & Resources

  • Visit my website: www.payalghayal.com 

  • Instagram: @payalghayalmd 

  • Want to dive deeper? I coach South Asian women and moms in private & group programs—book a call to see if it’s a good fit.

  • Love this episode? Please hit subscribe, leave a review on Apple Podcasts, and share with another parent who needs to hear: you’re not alone.

  • Want to take it further? DM me on Instagram or drop me a voice note—tell me your biggest teen challenge and we’ll explore it together.

Thanks so much for listening and choosing to engage with topics that matter. These conversations aren’t easy—but they’re sacred. 💙
— Payal